Aaargh!

Frustration levels are quite high up here in the mountains right now. The reality that somebody else's "bright" idea is causing me to have to put in extra hours on my day off is seriously interfering with my mojo today!

Only questions today.

I am having a tough time with Isaiah 54 today. God talks about how mighty He is and that He created everything, including that which destroys, and how He is in control of everything. At least, that is how I am reading it. But, it's not making sense to me. Why did He make evil and why does He allow it to flourish?

I consider myself lucky, compared to others. So many millions have never lived in peace, never eaten enough, never known a day without abuse. The list goes on. Yet, even my sheltered existence has not remained untouched by evil. (Yes, I am using the word, "evil", on purpose - that completely destructive thing that goes against everything good.) So, I am feeling a sense of despair.

Life can be so amazing! Why should it be marred in so many ways?

...is torn.

Tonight I feel torn. Where is the line between artistic commentary and blind, macabre fascination?

Watched "Dorian Gray" tonight. Essentially, it's a good movie, with less than brilliant effects and some amazing photography. The movie stars the always brilliant Colin Firth and beautiful Ben Barnes who is freakishly good in his subtle portrayal of Dorian - the innocent boy corrupted and ultimately damned by the influence of an immoral older man. It is based on a novel by the absolutely brilliant Oscar Wilde.

But, here's the thing: Conceptually, I love this moral fable of what it would mean to sell your soul. And, as mentioned, the actors and original author are brilliant. However, I am increasingly shocked and frightened by contemporary society's fascination with evil. What is the distinction between looking at and thinking about something depraved and just playing with the idea of it? Is it not, in itself, depraved to blindly and indiscriminately portray evil and depravity? What is it that draws the line between this film and something like "Saw", or even "Natural Born Killers"?

Is there a line?

I have not read the original text, but this version, with its strange sex scenes and bloody murders, despite the way it ends,leaves me slightly muddled. Or is it that the ending redeems the rest?

Exploring the complex relationship between suffering & creativity | Drops Like Stars | Rob Bell

Exploring the complex relationship between suffering & creativity | Drops Like Stars | Rob Belljavascript:void(0)

Read the book yesterday. As always, I am truly inspired by Rob Bell's thinking.

I don't think that one needs to suffer to be creative or to make something amazing of one's life. However, if that thing you would never wish on your worst enemy happens to you or you even just go through something that makes you lose your balance, it may be the wisest course of action to see it as an opportunity to rethink who and what you are and how your life should or shouldn't work; to discover that the box doesn't exist and your thinking and potential for creativity doesn't have limits.

Be careful what you wish for!

At the beginning of Lent, I expressed the hope that something would happen for me. Somewhere in the middle, I commented on the fact that things are being revealed to me bit by bit. But, I have always had the experience that the real action only happens after Lent, as if it is a time of gestation and that which God wants me to know or learn will only come to the fore afterward.

Well, it is now after Lent. I got what I wished for - something that will grow me spiritually and otherwise, that will teach me new skills. And, yes, you guessed it! It came in the form of a challenge! It is going to test me spiritually, emotionally and relationally and if it doesn't work, I am going to have a hard time of it. Yay! (anybody notice the sarcasm?)

But, I know, also from experience, that these things do not only happen for a reason, but they also happen because the Lord is standing next to me, teaching and guiding me (even when it doesn't feel like it). So, we'll see what transpires.

Wow! How beautiful!

Check out this post on The Animalarium. I love this blog!

Wishing I had more time to read.

“My strong advice to you is to soak, soak, soak in philosophy and psychology, until you know more of these subjects than ever you need consciously to think. It is ignorance of these subjects on the part of ministers and workers that has brought our evangelical theology to ...such a sorry plight...The man who reads only the Bible does not, as a rule, know it or human life.” -- Oswald Chambers

All the people I admire most are well-read. They have brilliant, informed opinions, based on an eclectic mix of books that they have read. Rob Bell, Ron Martoia, my boss, most of my colleagues, my uncle, Terry Pratchett... I want to be like them!

Problem is that I am almost always so tired that the letters on the page start to swim before my eyes moments after I had started reading and then the book hits me in the nose and it's an hour later! What to do?